Day Three Hundred and Sixteen - Mouth Of A Sailor

I have the mouth of a longshoreman. I know this. Please know, dear readers, that this does not reflect @ all on my upbringing. Not that my parents [okay, my dad] didn't occasionally swear, but they did have a program in place that suggested that one could potentially have one's mouth washed with soap if one were to swear [please note - this never actually happened to me]. I remember my first swear was the word "bastards" - which I repeated from my dear cousin Mark and - @ the time I had no clue it was a swear - I just thought it was some neat new word. My parents were less fond of it [I was probably around six or seven years old when I first used it quite blissfully in front of them]. You have to admit - little kids swearing is kinda darling though, no? Anyway, by the time I reached my big, bad teens and was a big fan of both gangsta rap and riot grrl type rock I think my parents threw up their hands on the whole swearing issue.

And honestly, I've never tried to deter myself. I think I have a good sense of timing and awareness when it comes to swearing [and I'm occasionally surprised as my previous job was very swear-friendly and I didn't partake too often as I felt it was unprofessional...though I admit to having moments of weakness]. Sometimes I can so deftly weave together a string of swears that I impress even myself with such artistry. I don't think resorting to swearing is necessarily lazy [though it's infinitely more taxing to come up with alternatives - I used to be fond of "oh, sugar snap peas" and "fudge" while @ work - though let's be honest - both of those make me sound like a bit of an ass] - learning how to swear is quite a talent and sometimes, nothing is more apt. But today I decided to challenge myself and I actively tried to not swear all day and I instituted a Swear Jar @ home. [it says Swears - No more swearing - be good!]


The results? I failed. But for me, it was quite the success. I got through an entire long day of stressful work preparing for our golf tournament next week...and then...well after dinner I foolishly clicked over to CNN during a pause in the baseball game...and...that's where they got me. Obviously my swear was directed towards a certain prominent figure in US politics...and honestly it was well deserved. I put an American quarter [a state quarter!] into the jar. But now that I've given up on a meaningful post-season drive for either of my baseball teams, the main thing that's causing me to swear is the American election, so perhaps there will be a reduction in swears.

Day Three Hundred and Fifteen - Turning Japanese

I am not one for purchasing handbags to match my clothing or even to match the season...in fact, I don't even change my handbags ever really. Generally speaking, I find a cheap and fun bag that I like and then I just use the heck out of it. Eventually it suffers some sort of catastrophic breakdown [usually @ some really inopportune moment] and then I buy a new one. I get a lot of compliments on whatever handbag I'm currently using, so I reckon that I'm doing something right. And yet, even fashion-challenged little old me can see that my current Sportsac knock-off bag in neon colours does not so much match 90% of my clothing - as I tend to wear a lot of red. What I do have [and generally don't wear because I'm not good @ accessorizing] is a few scarves in generally very neutral and pleasing colours/patterns. So today I decided to be uncharacteristically fashionable and I practiced the art of Furoshiki. Furoshiki is something from ancient Japan that is still practiced today [although probably a lot less with the wide availability of reusable bags] - it uses nylon or silk scarves to wrap and carry just about anything. Here is my Furoshiki before tying it up - holding all of my snacks for work [yes, including lychees for extra Asian accent].


And here is it all tied up. Technically the technique I used is Katakake Fukuro. It allows one to hold the bundle on one's shoulder. I found it to be quite jaunty.


I had my doubts when I was doing this. I pictured all of my snacks tumbling out onto the street or in the subway. However, it was remarkable durable, and yet really easy to access when I needed my snacks [because of the material used, the knots are easy to untie]. And I do think it looks cool and more unusual than a standard reusable bag. I will definitely be using this method again. Apparently it can be used to hold large melons or bowling balls [using different techniques of wrapping/tying]. I think it would be a neat-o idea for giving bottles of wine or fancy beers - you could give the scarf as well as the bottles. Fancy. On a less fancy note, Joseph referred to my Furoshiki as my "sack of vittles."

Day Three Hundred and Fourteen - That's Amore

One thing about me is that I love pizza. Love it. In fact, I used to be more discriminate when it came to eating pizza...but now I'm not fussy @ all. I like thin crust, thicker crust, lots of sauce, no sauce, lots of toppings, no toppings, Neopolitan style, Chicago style, homemade, store-bought, restaurant style, delivered, bought in a subway station, cheap pizza, expensive pizza...it's all so very, very good. It's really the perfect food. I have struggled trying to define what my favourite food might be...and folks, I think this is it...pizza is my favourite food. It's so versatile, accessible...it's quite wonderful. And today, I really went for it as I had free pizza for lunch and free pizza for dinner [and also, free pizza for breakfast tomorrow]. Oh yes. I regret nothing. And how did I obtain this free pizza? Here we go...

One of the great things about attending baseball games on Fridays and Sundays [and holiday Mondays] @ SkyDome is that they have a promotion that if any combination of Blue Jays pitchers throws seven or more strikeouts...then everyone in the stadium wins free pizza on Monday. Each time we've been to a game this year, we have won the free pizza. It's pretty awesome. People start chanting "pizza! pizza! pizza!" when there are two strikes and they are close to the seven mark. Then when they get that magical seven strikeouts everyone goes nuts. For pizza. Amazing. I have even started calling strikes "pizzas"...but only @ home [Joseph is the true master of making up new and exciting baseball terms]. And, the other free pizza was courtesy of work. When other departments have meetings they order in obscene amounts of pizza and then the rest of us get the spoils...I wasn't sure that I should double up on pizza, but upon further reflection I think I made the right choice.

[and because we had four tickets to the game on Friday we got FOUR SLICES of pizza tonight - good, good times.]

Day Three Hundred and Thirteen - Trompe D'Oeil

I enjoy cupcakes. I also enjoy ice cream. So - what would happen if these things were to be combined? In a most delightful way? Well, thanks to Wikihow [that's twice in one week] I learned how to achieve this combination in a most delightful way. This afternoon I made ice cream cone cupcakes.


Okay, so they don't actually involve any ice cream...but those are real ice cream cones instead of paper used for the cups for the cakes [make sense?]. Also, icing and sprinkles - how fun! The whimsy! I think this is the type of thing that one should really only make when you have a lot of children about [like @ a birthday party]...but I niether have nor particularly care for children...so...exceptions must be made. The only downside is that the batter [I used a store-bought mix] made SO many cupcakes. Over two dozen to be precise. They are as difficult to store as they were to put into the oven...very precarious [but no spills! Joseph is cool!]. So basically I've got just a big pile of ice cream cone cupcakes sitting on my kitchen counter [thankfully the fruitflies are mightily disinterested]. On a more positive note, the cupcakes are sickly sweet, environmentally friendly [no paper cup to throw away] and...my house smells like cupcakes. Mariah Carey would be so delighted.

Day Three Hundred and Twelve - They're Defending Themselves Somehow

I have a long history of warming myself up to various foods...to the point where I go from disliking intensely to really, really liking it. I have done this with mushrooms, olives and most recently [and documented] - pumpkin. I'm divided on lychees - I no longer hate them and find them creepy and unnatural...but we are far from BFF. So, how does one move towards that? Simple. Today I bought a huge box of lychees and prepared them @ home. The fruitflies are indeed having a grand old time. Good for them - life is short, kids.


The thing about lychees is...they ARE creepy and unnatural. They look like eyeballs when you eat them half-way. So, don't eat them half-way you say...well, they FEEL like eyeballs when you are eating them. So there. You can't win. Also, they taste like perfume. These ones do, anyway. It's alternately addictive and alienating. Maybe I'm doing something wrong - this is the first time I've bought them and peeled them - they are tough, but juicy little buggers. I will say this - I enjoy them MUCH more this way than my other lychee experiences - @ the bottom of a martini glass and in jelly form - little cups being hucked @ me while watching Fight Club with boys.

Another interesting note - they are from the soapberry family...because really...nothing tastes better than soap.

Day Three Hundred and Eleven - Domer

Okay. So I've been to four live baseball games this season and each time I've failed to accomplish what I set out to do. What I was successful in accomplishing was winning free pizza each time. So, there's that. What I really wanted to do was successfully eat a hot dog @ a baseball stadium. I say "successfully eat" because when I was a young 'un [probably about seven years old?] I got about 70% through a tasty dog and then...I threw up...all over the people sitting in front of us. My entire family [godparents and godbrother too] all had to immediately leave good old Exhibition Stadium in shame. So, I wanted to prove it could be done. And even though the good old SkyDome is ranked as one of the most vegetarian-friendly stadiums in all of Major League Baseball...they only sell vegetarian dogs @ ONE CART in the whole stadium. Tonight we finally made it to that cart as we had seats on the 100 level...and they were OUT OF VEGETARIAN DOGS. Gah! In its place I had my traditional pizza and a gigantic pickle on a stick. Yeah, I dunno.

So, I've got a couple things to offer in place of my ET being eating a hot dog @ a baseball game [since I won't be going to anymore games this year]. For one, I sat in the outfield. In recent years Joseph and I buy the cheapest tickets, sit in the 500 level [behind where the Jackie Robinson sign is in the photo below]...but right behind homeplate. It's the best $9 you will ever spend. These tickets were over twice the price [I got them for free though] and while I prefer them to the general baseline tickets we used to get when I would go with my family [sitting with my feet on the dugout would be the ultimate though].


The second thing that I will offer is that I was in the SkyDome while they opened AND closed the dome. It still impresses me - I know it's cheesy and the dome is old...but it's still an architectural wonder to me [and we have so few]. Anyway, TPTB surprised us and opened it up during the game [which never happens]...then we went on HotDogQuest 2008...then we got back and were just enjoying the fresh Toronto breeze [closed dome is very humid and a bit gross]...when they decided to close 'er up. Apparently it was raining, although since we weren't affected I think that they should have left it open. Anyway, the Jays are superhot right now...and here's a neat-o photo of the dome very nearly closed [takes about 20 minutes].

Day Three Hundred and Ten - Bee Stung

I have never much cared for my lips - they are too small, too thin and they do refuse to pout [even though I am frequently legitimately pouty]. I have considered getting my lip pierced so that I would like it more [this is a strategy that worked terrifically well for my too-big nose and moderately well for my stomach]. I do care for my lips though - I'm proud of never having chapped lips and I do a bit in terms of preventative measures. So, they are quite smooth and soft...but alas - I want them plump! I have also sought out that Lip Venom glossy stuff, but I don't think they make it anymore...it was probably causing some sort of horrific chemical reaction and that's what made one's lips swell up. So, what to do? I could turn to Wikihow! I used a sugar scrub to exfoliate my lips. This is actually the first time that I have used a homemade beauty product...which has its advantages as its cheap, readily available and not tested on animals [okay, I tested it on myself].


You can barely see it, but I assure you that I do have the sugar scrub on my lips in that photo. Basically, it's just sugar + a few drops of water [you don't want it overly blended, it should still be "scrabbly"]. I discovered that it's incredibly difficult to have something like this on my lips without licking it off. Luckily I don't have this trouble with lipstick...but...sugar is nice to taste. So, I had to try numerous times before I got it to stay on my lips for any amount of time. Ha. Once it had rested on my lips for a few minutes I took my extra-soft toothbrush and lightly scrubbed it off. I then applied a moisturizing lip balm product. Mmmmm. I don't think it plumped up my lips, but it did give them some natural colour and made them feel noticeably smoother [like, a lot - and I thought they were smooth already]. Also, the sugary taste remained for quite some time [which is a bonus if you plan on making out - trust me, boys do not like the flavour of your Lip Smackers - no matter how much you do - I love the Dr. Pepper one]. Yummy!

Day Three Hundred and Nine - I Blog Therefore I Am

Once again I have Colette to thank for this thing o' the day. This time I actually had something planned and ready to go, but I thought this thing might be a bit time sensitive so I went with it. I completed a survey on blogging for a university research project. I will agree with Colette and say that the aim of this project seems to be to establish bloggers as a group of social misfits. Which...seems extremely short sighted when one considers that there are *so* many bloggers these days - from all walks of life and all around the world. We can't all be weirdos [I am, but that is besides the point].

I have participated in a research study for my university before [this was for an American university]. It was for my psychology class and it earned me extra credit so I was able to graduate with a solid C average [yes, my parents were so proud]. I was selected to participate because I was ranked as a raging narcissist. Yeah [again, my parents were so proud]. But - back to this study...yeah, it kinda was an unfair characterization of bloggers. That we all have no friends in real life or perhaps we do, but we have created something entirely new for ourselves online - a new identity, life, focus...and that we lie and hide things about ourselves or present a cleaned up version. I'm not entirely sure that having such obvious questions will get you the answers you are after...due to the fact that people don't like admitting they are losers [even anonymously]. Okay, I fully admit it - I'm a big loser - deal with it.

Day Three Hundred and Eight - Getting A Bang Out Of Life

I've always been interested in urban legends. And in this modern age one can while away the day @ any number of websites that feature them, like Snopes and whatever else [and now that I've said that I've just wasted 20 minutes on Snopes]. I think the origins of urban legends are interesting - since the beginning of humans there have probably been stories like them to keep everyone in line. It's true - urban legends are all about swift karmic justice and "correct" behaviours. Sometimes you have to dig a little...but not in the case of the urban legend that says one will die if you ingest Pop Rocks and Coke. This legend was most famously applied to little Mikey in the Life Cereal adverts - despite him being totally alive and well. Tonight I tested it out - I combined Pop Rocks and Coca-Cola. Ummmm, obviously I'm still alive and also, no worse off. In fact, I think it made me feel a bit better and I actually got a semi-decent night's sleep afterwards.

There are lots of urban legends about candy - spider eggs in bubblegum was a popular one when I was little [as well as the Pop Rocks thing]. It makes sense though - no adult authority-type person wants kids getting all hopped up on Pop Rocks and Coke. It was fun though. I haven't had Pop Rocks in years and years - turns out I really like them, although I reckon they've been toned down as they don't hurt my mouth anymore. I tried having Pop Rocks and Coke separately...not much happened [and I do have a very sensitive stomach]. Then, I tried holding the Pop Rocks in my mouth while pouring the Coke over them [full-fat Coke if it makes a difference - I wanted to be faithful to the legend].

Day Three Hundred and Seven - More V

Yesterday Joseph and I succeeded in actually renting a film. This in itself could be considered an ET for me as apparently we never rent us up some movies [I noticed this because we had to pay a late fee from when we rented Ringu on my birthday last year...so yeah...we rent like one movie a year, which I think is a bit unusual]. Generally speaking we will go see a film @ the cinema when it's released if we are interested in seeing it...so there is no point in renting unless it's something old or foreign or weird. This film was really none of the above, but I was frustrated that we missed it on Teletoon and I have no patience to wait on it to re-air. So tonight I watched V For Vendetta. Yes, it's the graphic novel that just keeps on giving. It was...okay..okay-ish...not terrible? Yeah, something like that.

There are extremely rare occasions when the film is better [or can stand on its own] than its original source material. I can think of...I dunno...let's say three films that are good examples of this: American Psycho [the book is better, but a totally different animal and the film is solid on its own], Gone With The Wind [though Joseph would say the movie is terrible too] and Brokeback Mountain [the short story has its charms, but has nothing on the film. I think Bladerunner might also be a good example, but I've not read the book. The thing is - V For Vendetta is a very manageable [in terms of size, if not content/language] graphic novel. One could easily do it up Robert Rodriguez/Sin City style and just rip the source directly and beautifully. It would still come in around two hours. Why make silly and arbitrary changes? If you don't want to tell that story [and the film does tell a very different story and has different themes] then write the story you want to tell. Don't bother pissing off Alan Moore - he really seems to be generally pissed off enough. Those Matrix brothers are really...quite something. I would be greatly amused if they could make a film that would sincerely entertain me.