Day Three Hundred and Sixteen - Mouth Of A Sailor

I have the mouth of a longshoreman. I know this. Please know, dear readers, that this does not reflect @ all on my upbringing. Not that my parents [okay, my dad] didn't occasionally swear, but they did have a program in place that suggested that one could potentially have one's mouth washed with soap if one were to swear [please note - this never actually happened to me]. I remember my first swear was the word "bastards" - which I repeated from my dear cousin Mark and - @ the time I had no clue it was a swear - I just thought it was some neat new word. My parents were less fond of it [I was probably around six or seven years old when I first used it quite blissfully in front of them]. You have to admit - little kids swearing is kinda darling though, no? Anyway, by the time I reached my big, bad teens and was a big fan of both gangsta rap and riot grrl type rock I think my parents threw up their hands on the whole swearing issue.

And honestly, I've never tried to deter myself. I think I have a good sense of timing and awareness when it comes to swearing [and I'm occasionally surprised as my previous job was very swear-friendly and I didn't partake too often as I felt it was unprofessional...though I admit to having moments of weakness]. Sometimes I can so deftly weave together a string of swears that I impress even myself with such artistry. I don't think resorting to swearing is necessarily lazy [though it's infinitely more taxing to come up with alternatives - I used to be fond of "oh, sugar snap peas" and "fudge" while @ work - though let's be honest - both of those make me sound like a bit of an ass] - learning how to swear is quite a talent and sometimes, nothing is more apt. But today I decided to challenge myself and I actively tried to not swear all day and I instituted a Swear Jar @ home. [it says Swears - No more swearing - be good!]


The results? I failed. But for me, it was quite the success. I got through an entire long day of stressful work preparing for our golf tournament next week...and then...well after dinner I foolishly clicked over to CNN during a pause in the baseball game...and...that's where they got me. Obviously my swear was directed towards a certain prominent figure in US politics...and honestly it was well deserved. I put an American quarter [a state quarter!] into the jar. But now that I've given up on a meaningful post-season drive for either of my baseball teams, the main thing that's causing me to swear is the American election, so perhaps there will be a reduction in swears.