Day One Hundred and Sixty-Three - Now That's What I Call A Sticky Situation

Due to a highly toxic combination of laziness and lack of skirt/dress wearing [I tend to wear skirts/dresses everyday, but with being unemployed I mainly just wear pajamas and sweatpants - very sexy] I neglected to shave my legs for some time. Also, it's been a long, tough winter and cold so I need all the help I can get in maintaining ye olde core temperature. However, last weekend I decided to wear a skirt and I attempted to shave my legs. This did not go well - I am one hairy little monkey and shaving resulted in about one-third of the hair being removed. Bummer.

Many, many years ago Joseph and I were quite taken with this particular infomercial for a hair removal system called [...wait for it] Nad's. Oh my. When viewed @ 3am this is the most frakking high-sterical thing one has ever seen [yes, we are now and forever 12 years old]. They just kept saying nads and it was all serious and talking about all of the different places one could use/put Nad's. Well, recently we noticed this product @ Zellers and I thought about giving it a try. Since my earlier attempts @ clean-shaven legs was thwarted tonight I tried Nad's Hair Removal product. Ummmm - I'm not sure if you know this - but infomercials are all dirty, filthy lies. Really. Bad things happened. I should consider joining some class action lawsuit or filing a consumer report, but it was only $10 and someone who is too lazy to shave her legs is far too lazy to do either of those things.

I decided to "Nad myself" in front of the TV - mostly because I live in front of the 12 and the Blue Jays were playing in their first extra inning game of the year and I foolishly thought they would pull out the win. Also, it's supposed to be non-messy. That was a lie. The gel/wax stuff was kinda hard, but pliable and very sticky - I couldn't get it to come out of the container without leaving trails of stickyness [like honey]. I was supposed to apply a thin layer, but this proved impossible as it is unspreadable. So, with smooshed down blobs of Nad's on my legs I applied the cloth strip thing [that's apparently reusable...which - ew] and prepared myself for pain-free removal. Except, not. There will be pain [which is not really as bad as women say, but it does still hurt]. What there won't be is a significant amount of hair removed. Sorry about that. I tried over and over again - and really I just got really sticky and candy-smelling. Like I put melted Jolly Ranchers on my leg for some reason [note: I think I may have actually done this - I was really into Jolly Ranchers in the mid-90s]. Eventually, after getting the cloth strips stuck to my arm, my fingers all sticky and the remote control being @ risk and slightly sticky...I called it a night with maybe one-third of one leg kinda Nads-ed. One thing that I hate [and I don't know why I didn't think this would cause me problems] is being sticky. And I was sticky [still am - it doesn't seem soluble].

Day One Hundred and Sixty-Two - Kin Khao

My relationship with Thai food has been documented here, there and everywhere, so I won't get into it again. My success with my own Pad Thai has sorta rekindled my appreciation for Thai food and since it is the best restaurant closest to my former place of employment - it was a natural choice for lunch today. This particular restaurant has the most exceptional hot & sour soup and I used to have it at least once per week. However, when dining in the restaurant I feel obligated to eat more than just soup. I usually get a big order of spring rolls because I love the spicy dipping sauce, but I'm trying to be a bit more health conscious when dining out these days [mostly since my @ home choices kinda suck lately - too many fudge popsicles and candy bars and chips]. However, fried food is incredibly difficult to step away from since it's a winning flavour explosion, so instead of having some tired vegetarian Pad Thai [that wouldn't rate next to mine] I decided to order something new and I tried Thai fried rice.

It was definitely unlike regular fried rice - I mean the kind that I always order in Chinese restaurant. I think the rice was of the sticky rice variety and it was perhaps flavoured with some fish sauce and garnished with lots of fresh coriander. The tofu [fried, duh] was good as was the bok choy...however the less said about the barely cooked other vegetables, the better. Also, an appearance by the ever-scary baby corns...*shudder*...

90% of the rice came home with me - it shall be part of a multicultural dining experience tomorrow evening - I eat too slow @ restaurants.

Day One Hundred and Sixty-One - Mythbuster

I like to watch Mythbusters, although I do so with a rather skeptical eye. I mean, I don't know a huge amount about science [luckily I live with someone that does], but I tend to think that there methods are somehow questionable. Even when they do the revists of myths - I can still find fault with the way the operate. Still, it's an enjoyable show and I think it's great that it gets people interested in science. Most of the things they do are somewhat hightech and also usually involve explosions and therefore, I can't really compete as I operate out of my one-bedroom apartment in the middle of a city with no yard.

However, I stumbled upon a myth when I was looking into the vernal equinox [if there is some event or special day or significant newsmaker that I haven't Wikipedia-ed in the last year...well, I'll be damned]. It was the common misconception that one can only balance an egg on its end on the spring equinox. I wasn't aware that one could balance an egg on its end EVER so I was intrigued. Having seen some photographic evidence, I was a bit convinced I could do this [even lacking in patience as I do]. I tried very hard to do this yesterday, but no dice [Joseph thinks the kitchen table is uneven]. Joseph was successful before me, but I kept trying and I finally balanced an egg on its end and a glance to the calendar tells me it's not the equinox and therefore I busted a myth. This is one of those times I wished that I had a digital camera, but I am confident that I can repeat it. There seems to be no real trick to it, aside from patience and a very flat surface. I left the eggs sitting on their ends for a couple of hours - very hypnotic.

Day One Hundred and Sixty - My Kid Could Paint That

I love art. Fortunately I have absolutely zero artistic ability [aside from the occasional collage and my ability to deftly apply googly eyes to things to make them high-larious]. I feel this is fortunate because if I were graced with any innate artistic talent I would just spend a lot of time trying to make my way as an artist and eventually ending up cold and penniless and dying young and underappreciated [all of that could still happen I guess, but just don't expect to get rich off of my great works of art which would be worth millions after I die]. Joseph has a lot of talent and with great talent comes great...art supplies. A while back I bought myself some watercolours as I felt that would be an accessible way to tap into my artistic side. After a couple of afternoons of mucking around and only discovering that I'm even worse @ art than previously imagined, I gave up.

However, with this project I'm learning to not just try new things, but to revist things from my past that have not gone so well [and some that have gone well that I just didn't bother to keep doing for whatever reason]. Tonight I broke out the watercolours and I painted an abstract work of art. And yes, people look @ abstract art and they do think it's easy and that their 3 year old paints better...well - I do challenge you to create an abstract work of art. I think because I am apprehensive about art it makes me unordinarily tentative, which does not make for great modern art. And, even if you can just go for it with scribbles and paint everywhere, I think you will find that it does start to develop some inherent meaning. It just does. Mine is mostly based on Battlestar Galactica because I'm deep like that. It's not quite ready for framing, but I am proud of it. Watercolours are interesting in that the medium [the paints/brush] become the art. Things get messed up because they are inaccurate and the colours have to be teased and cajoled into doing the "right" thing and that makes the art better. Well, my art. You might actually be talented or something.

Day One Hundred and Fifty-Nine - A Kiss Without The Squeeze

Joseph has quite the sweet tooth. I rarely indulge in too many sweet things, although DeathCold 2008 has made me long for ice milk fudge bars so Joseph bought 2 dozen of them for me. For the most part though, I enjoy covering things in cheese. Today when Joseph decided that we should have an appetizer of apple pie before dinner I was reminded of the old saying that "an apple pie without the cheese is like a kiss without the squeeze" and I put cheddar cheese on apple pie.

I get the whole mixing of sweet/savoury things, I really do. I'm just not sure that this is one of those times. It didn't taste entirely bad, it was just unusual. I kept tasting pastry, apples, spices...and cheese. There was very little harmony. Rest assured - cheese is still awesome, but just not with apple pie.

Day One Hundred and Fifty-Eight - When Ambition Meets Faith

I do the Facebook thing and my very favourite thing about Facebook [besides looking @ people's pictures and thinking I'm the only one out there that still looks like a 15 year old] is the movie reviews. I like to call it Shelby's Facebook Movie Reviews Dot Com and I do kinda quirky little reviews and I'm really harsh on films and it's wonderful. Lately, I haven't been doing them - in part because this blog demands something of me everyday and I've been trying to do other writing as well. In addition, no one but me is the slightest bit amused by the reviews and while I doubt that significantly more people are interested in this blog, I have been doing movie reviews here and I will continue to do so.

I do think that going to see a new film or seeing some iconic film that you've never seen - yeah, that counts. I don't include every new film I see - just some of them that I see on otherwise lazy days [I also say Star Wars Episode 2 today, but the less said about that, the better] and that are otherwise interesting. Today I saw There Will Be Blood. It was very good, but I'm sure with it topping dozens of Top Ten lists for films of 2007 you really don't need me to be telling you this. When I saw the milkshake scene I admit that I thought Daniel Day Lewis was over the top and I'm rarely impressed by that type of acting [which is why Jack Nicholson's whole career is really...not fantastic]. However, when you see it within the context of the whole film suddenly it's almost subtle. The acting is fantastic - from everyone [even the sweet little boy and I am not a fan of children or child actors] and the music/score just what you need/want from a PT Anderson film. It's quite brilliant. And out on DVD on Tuesday so go get it! And get Blood on your TV!

Day One Hundred and Fifty-Seven - Born On The Fourth Of April

It's my dear friend Rory's birthday today and therefore I was okay with making a couple of sacrifices: 1. Delaying the BSG premiere by one day and 2. Going to a new and unusual place to celebrate. I had a number of social things on the calendar lately and pretty much everything is going to have to be canned due to DeathCold 2008. However, a birthday is a birthday so I bundled myself up and off I went up north to Yonge/St. Clair where I went to a karaoke bar [and didn't make an arse out of myself]. I really hope that Rory had as good of a time as it appeared that he was having. It almost seemed like too much fun. Sadly, I have no embarassing photos [I think I will buy a digital camera after I start getting paid], but the images of Rory's touching tribute to Heath Ledger/Martin Luther King remain seared into my brain. It really was one of the most unintentionally hilarious/wrong things I've seen all year. Kudos to you Rory! And happy birthday!

The whole experience gave me flashbacks to the Greentree and the days of my youth. Because when me and my friends were very young, we were too young to pass for underage drinkers @ more reputable [and in town] establishments, so off to the Greentree on Thursdays we would go. Yes, it was a shack attached to an inn in the middle of nowhere [that smelled] and it was always overheated and filled with drunken snowmobilers and also - karaoke and lots of it. Nothing innovative, just the standard Grease megamix, Guns n Roses and maybe that "fishing in the dark song"...but dang if the beer wasn't so deliciously cold [and I didn't drink beer back then, but it was so tempting there and so refreshing]. Other than beer I think the only other things they served were Blue Lagoons and Singapore Slings. In my efforts to keep it classy, these were most often my poisons of choice [especially after an incident involving beer and me getting sick on someone's shoes - quite literally].

Day One Hundred and Fifty-Six - Gin-gi-vi-tis

My teeth are extra sensitive or maybe I'm just extra fussy...but being sick there is plenty of opportunity for gross teeth feeling. Between the throat candy things [that do absolutely nothing], cough syrup and all of the juice - my teeth feel bathed in a film of scum. It's really pleasant. There is some dopey advert for an electric toothbrush that say something like their product has the power of two toothbrushes at once. This little claim kinda stuck with me and rattled around in my brain until I just had to know what would be so fantastic about two toothbrushes @ once. So I brushed my teeth with two toothbrushes simultaneously.

It was quite late @ night and really - this is the ultimate lazy solution to your bedtime toothbrushing woes. I also think children would enjoy this as I know it's difficult to make them brush [I always hated the dentist so I was not a difficult child]. However, it does use twice the amount of toothpaste and you will look like a ginormous jackass doing this. I have a pretty big mouth and it was a lot to cram on in there and still brush effectively. Also, lots and lots of toothbrushing foam was created. It was fun and I would be lying if I said I wouldn't be trying this again - though I might suggest it would work better with two identical toothbrushes - one of mine was really big, the other was my regular tiny toothbrush. It's all about symmetry, people. And suck it electric toothbrushes - I have once again defeated you!

Day One Hundred and Fifty-Five - The Aviator

So, feeling like an eccentric recluse weirdo, but without the millions or billions of dollars it might take to afford such a lifestyle, I have been resorting to some mundane, yet bizarre things to keep myself busy. Today I happened to secure two empty tissue boxes and I was instantly reminded of a slightly more famous, slightly more insane eccentric recluse weirdo. I'm speaking of course of Mr. Burns. My mucus filled brain instantly seized upon this opportunity and I made a pair of slippers out of empty tissue boxes.

I think that either tissue boxes are getting smaller or feet are getting bigger as I have very small feet and they would barely fit in the box. These slippers were wonderfully easy to construct [instructions are: insert foot into box, tear cardboard slightly to allow for a better fit, relax in great comfort], however they are not so practical. They are difficult to walk in and also quit slippery. They do not provide the warm fuzziness of my blue Fraggle Rock slippers or the cuteness of my pink Hello Kitty slippers. I am also uncertain why one would choose these for germ-blocking protection. However, I'm no crazy billionaire like Howard Hughes - he obviously knew what he was doing [there is no record of Hughes wearing tissue box slippers, but as he himself said - one should never check an interesting fact].

Hop in the Spruce Moose!

Day One Hundred and Fifty-Four - Click It

Courtesy of Jen and her blog/project, EverydayGiving I was able to find a great thing for today that did not require me to do anything more than click. This was quite excellent for me as DeathCold 2008 mounted a ferocious comeback sometime over the past 24 hours. Needless to say, I'm quickly burning through my lengthy list of things that I can do @ home with no supplies or energy. [fellow thing-a-dayers - I advise you to put together your own lengthy list for times such as these]

Today I visited The Hunger Site and hopefully my meagre clicks did some good. Honestly, today I wasn't going to be much good @ doing anything else for anyone, including myself. The site is interesting because they have multiple causes - world hunger, breast cancer, child health, literacy, the rainforest and animal rescue. It seems to be legit, so please - visit and click away. I click on so much crap all day long on the internet [when my interwebs are working and not a series of clogged tubes] that I feel quite guilty about not clicking on anything useful 90% of the time.