In their heyday I was a huge New Kids on the Block fan. Ladies, I know what most of you are thinking "oh, me too!" And, I'm afraid I'm going to have to stop you right there...because, no...you quite simply don't understand. I was like...rendered mentally [and financially] unstable by my love for New Kids. To offer some proof - the New Kids are back together and touring and many of my female friends on Facebook [who I haven't really spoken to since high school] have been sending me messages re: New Kids [even their parents remember my insane, insane love]. So, approaching 30 years old...this - insane fangirling over some lame-o boyband...*that's* my legacy. I can't help but feel that I've wasted my life. The funny thing is - I have no interest in New Kids...their reunion...their new album...pop culture nostalgia holds no value for me [though history and nostalgia of other types is obviously quite valuable to someone like me who just can't let go].
Anyway, Joseph [and others] have been known to give me a hard time about my past love of New Kids [in the interest of full disclosure...my fandom not only included the acquisition of all types of merchandise...but also involved me being forcibly removed from a shopping mall due to inciting a NKOTB-related riot...I might have been charged with someone, but I was barely 12 years old so no one really cared...clearly I've always been a menace to society]. He claimed that New Kids were really terrible...not just terrible due to being a boyband...but terrible AS a boyband. I have contended that they were trailblazers in pop [and merchandising] and that, therefore, they must have been doing something right. Mind you, up until tonight I stood by this claim without being able to accurately recall the music. Well, on Saturday while standing in line for Behemoth I heard some vaguely familiar warbling from the speakers...could it be? It was! I'll Be Loving You Forever by New Kids! And...oh...god...no. It was really...not good [though hearing New Kids while @ Wonderland in line for a new ride would have caused my 12-year-old self's wee brain to explode with happiness]. And that song was really a signature New Kids tune...but...if it was bad - what of the rest of their musical oeuvre?!?
Tonight I decided to put my fears to the test and I listened to New Kids on the Block as a fully-grown adult. And I watched the music videos, too. To be honest, I know my mum kept all my New Kids stuff as a testimony perhaps to my idiocy...but I dunno when [if ever] I will be unearthing any of those gems. And yeah...my fully-grown adult reaction to my pre-teen obsession? I'm afraid this is one of those times when Joseph is right. The music...she is not good, even by boyband standards. The musical production seems really, really lackluster - as if no actual musical instruments were used in the production of the music. Everything sounds so...plinky? Yknow? I must admit though, that Jordan's voice is semi-impressive [not my style, but he had/has? range] and Joe's voice is actually quite nice - my favourite, in fact. And Donnie remains extremely charismatic, even while engaging in some of the most painful white boy rapping ever [I point you toward the song Games, which just might be the reason I was pushed towards gangster rap for a solid five years of my life]. Danny remains fug. And Jon? Yeah, he's there. In one of the videos they were attempting to demonstrate how wild and crazy their lifestyle is [I believe it's the Tonight video - the song has been described as Beatles-esque...but obviously, no...although I think it's probably one of my favourites by default] he is pictured reading. READING!?! THE CRAZINESS! In another attempt to show what bad boys they are they are shown vaulting over the subway turnstiles, only to turn back and put in the token. Woah. This same video, Call It What You Want features a cold open by that C&C Music Factory guy which actually caused me to physically recoil in horror and push my laptop away from me. Which leads us to...the dancing. I think the dancing is worse than the music. You could really look @ any video for examples. Even if the choreography was tight [it isnt'] it would look awful and a bit insane. One of their later songs, If You Go Away actually has quite haunting vocals by Joe and a bit of Jordan...but the video is filmed entirely in shadow and the only dancing is some chick in ripped up jeans and a white t-shirt writhing [kinda? but in a non-sexy way] really slowly in the dark...her face is never shown...and it's a ballad...it's bizarre - please go check it out. However, I was delighted to unearth a previously unseen early video for Please Don't Go Girl featuring a very young Joe trying to seduce a woman older than what I am now...and at the end of the video their names pop up onscreen as they show each Kid. It's pretty awesome.
Well, look @ that - I guess I still am a bit of a fangirl. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed in the music and videos and overall cuteness of the band. I guess it proves how much of a dum I was [and probably still am]. To be honest [and Joseph offered this defence himself] - the music industry has simply gotten better @ packaging and producing pop music [not just poppy pop/boybands, but anything mainstream like rap, country, rock]. Hooks are catchier and the music just sounds better [even if it's not better - it seems like it is]. It's a bit sad, though. And while I don't have the interest in New Kids anymore...I do remember when I lost that lovin' feeling [so to speak]. The day when I put down my New Kids cassettes in favour of something else [likely Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch - baby steps, people]...and took down all of the posters...I do remember making these choices. And it did feel as though I was moving on - it meant something to me. I know it's dopey...but putting aside childhood things is very tough [especially when you are acutely aware of it as I was @ age 13]...and I guess I can still look back on those days of screaming and obsessing and near-arrests as evidence of my happy funtime childhood [and try to put aside the shame].
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2 comments:
i really enjoyed this post...i actually really like the new NKOTB songs and am hoping to win tickets to their concert...i was never lucky enough to go as a teen.
RYQ: disc golf is a cross between frisbee and golf. there's actually a marked area to start from (like where you would tee off) and about 300 yards away (and possible around a corner blocked by trees or over a stream) there is a metal basket type thing that you are trying to get the disc into. the disc is a little smaller and heavier than a regular frisbee. it's lots of fun...they even have a "par" set for each one.
I made a point of only listening to their older music. One of their new videos gets pretty regular play on MuchMusic, but I've never actually watched/listened. I went to two NKOTB concerts as a tween. One of them I had to get scalpers tickets and pay some stranger with a case of beer and a bottle of Canadian rye whiskey to pick them up. Shady.
I see - so it's like Frisbee golf? Frolf? Or is that exactly what Frisbee golf is? It seems like fun anyway - I know there are some competitive leagues here in Toronto for Frisbee golf.
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