Day Two Hundred and Seventy-Five - Returning Some Videotapes

I was always in a hurry to learn to read and conquer bigger and longer books with smaller print and larger words. I learned to read when I was very young and these days I speed through whatever it is that I am reading. It's not really something that I am proud of - but I do tend to speed read everything. This means that I spend my meagre fortune on books and I read them in a couple of evenings. This isn't terribly economical and I've been considering joining the li-berry as a result. And yet, I was curious to see just how fast I do read and could read if I pushed myself a bit so today I speed read a book. The book is just a couple pages shy of being 400 pages with moderately small font [a very nice font actually, though it doesn't list the name] and I read it in about three hours. I have no idea if this is good or not, although I did actually read and not skim which would have been quicker.

The book in question is American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis. Reading this book has become something of a summer tradition [except for last summer when I read Anna Karenina, which is also a fine summer book and highly recommended - American Psycho is not highly recommended as I can think of precisely no one who I know that would enjoy this book]. It's an incredibly verbose book and even though I was speed reading I did find myself re-reading parts of it...but then yes I did gloss over all of the references to audio equipment and one of the rants on music. This book is so, so summer though. Not the sweet, romantic days of summer...but more of a dog days of summer book when you are sick of being hot and always covered in a thin film of sweat and excessively irritable even in the most idea of situations. This book does nothing to relieve these feelings - in fact it makes them worse. I ended up reading it in the bathtub because it gives one the irresistible urge to remove your insides and scrub them clean. I dunno - it's like a mosquito bite that is fun to itch...it's bad for you, but you can't help yourself.

[another summer book that i would consider recommending is my summer of love by helen cross. it gives off the same feelings as american psycho, but is infinitely milder. also, the author is one of joseph's relatives.]

Day Two Hundred and Seventy-Four - Very A-Peeling

I freely admit that I stole this ET from original thing-a-dayer Jen - in fact it was one of the first things that she did when I started following her blog, if I recall correctly. It's also something that I've had in mind since forever as I have always had very flexible and utilitarian feet [in addition to being short, stubby and hobbit-esque]. Never a fan of bending over - I used to pick up everything with my feet/toes - with quite a bit of precision and care. I started wondering - what else can I do with my feet?

Tonight - in a valiant attempt to fight off the ever-increasing horde of fruit flies I peeled a banana with my feet. I didn't quite eat the banana with my feet, but almost as a goodly amount of banana did get on my feet. They are clean. Let me tell you something - no matter how awkward the photo looks - this is a shockingly easy task - to peel a banana with one's feet. I was fully prepared for an epic struggle and I was bracing myself for a test of patience and endurance. Not necessary. I think the key is having a banana that is ripe, although not overly so. Also, if you have strong feet - I'm not sure mine are particularly strong, but I do exercise them specifically quite a bit. Yoga and pilates both require strong, functional feet. This was great fun though - I encourage you to give it a try. Don't let our other primate friends have all the fun...

Day Two Hundred and Seventy-Three - I'm Lovin' It

I don't often go in for McDonald's [or McDo as I call it]. Every so often I get a yearning for their breakfast and I actually get myself organized enough before 11am to go get it [okay - usually Joseph does this - it requires considerable effort]. When we were in Florence we ate McDo for breakfast both mornings and then felt incredibly...not good...in the intense Italian humidity for several hours [especially the morning that they accidentally doubled my order and I ate both orders as I'm a little piggie]. Still - it's delicious. But other than my custom-made Egg McMuffin, McDo does not have a lot to offer me. And yet, like those poor neighbourhoods in California that have too many fast food places and will thusly be prevented from having any more...my neighbourhood is sorely lacking for fresh and healthy options. There's...McDo...and...that's it.

So tonight Joseph was out doing his work thing and I was not inspired to cook for myself...so I thought - why not have some McDo for dinner? Indeed, why not. So many fat kids. Seriously. It was unreal. Anyway - as the queue was gigantic, I started to get hungry [yes, that McDo aroma obviously warms my foodie tastebuds - ha!]. So, in addition to a drink + sandwich I wanted something more. Yet, the heat outside meant that a sundae would be very melty by the time I got home...so instead I had a McFlurry. Yeah, ummm - about that. I thought it was a milkshake. A milkshake flavoured with cookies or chocolate bar or something, but still - a drinkable type of thing. It's not. I got mine Rolo flavoured as I like caramel [but not Rolos]. It was...insane. The first few bites were a little piece of guilty indulgence heaven. And then...it went downhill quite rapidly. I was all sticky [and we all know how I feel about that - not good] and it just got all gross and sickly tasting. I know this might not be a valid complaint - but honestly there was too much stuff - too much chocolate and caramel and sweetness. I had to put it away. When I tried to eat it again...things were worse...it looked really vile. I was going to take a photo, but didn't want to risk being sued by McDo for showing their product in such a crummy way. Gross. What is that stuff anyway? It's surely *not* ice cream...

[yes. no updates - some minor catastrophes @ home - but i'm fine. joseph's family is here now so updates might be a little sporadic, but the ETs keep on rolling so stay tuned!]

Day Two Hundred and Seventy-Two - Something Witty About Videogames

I think that Final Fantasy is one of the biggest cash cows in the videogame industry. I say this with absolutely no authority - just a hunch. It might not be the highest grossing series, but they seem to keep tweaking them, remaking them...and then people will buy them all over again. I don't think they have to invest much in these games to make them reasonably popular again. One of the first videogames that I really got into was Final Fantasy VII [me and like a million other eleven year olds]. While I still haven't finished it [one day...maybe] it really opened my eyes as to what a videogame could be. It won over my snobby non-gamer heart. And while I'm still just a casual gamer - it is something I do on an almost daily basis.

They have quite recently released Final Fantasy IV and tonight I finally cracked it open and I played Final Fantasy IV. Yeah, I could post a photo of the cover or maybe of me playing it, but I don't really feel that adds much value. Also, laziness. My fingers get mighty sore from playing with the DS - I get very intense when I play and much sweatiness and soreness insues [unless I'm playing Wii and then I have been known to punch myself in the face with whatever apparatus I'm using]. While I have struggled to find any other RPGs that I like even half as much as FFVII - I was really getting into the story and the characters. Right up until the moment when I was killed by some phallic-looking/mist-disappearing dragon thing. Just totally killed. Boo! I'm Cecil dammit! Cecil is clearly a super badass name, no?

Day Two Hundred and Seventy-One - Simply Gourd-ious

I have a puzzling relationship with pumpkin [well, gourds in general, but specifically pumpkin for today's purposes]. My birthday is indeed on Halloween and therefore it would be natural to assume that I have an amicable agreement with pumpkins and the holiday in general. You would be wrong. For the record, I think Halloween is quite something - provided that is not also your birthday. I require attention. *ahem* But pumpkins - I have never liked [except for their seeds, which I love, even though they upset my stomach]. Joseph played a videogame a little while ago wherein pumpkins would reign down upon the fair heroine's head and I could scarcely imagine anything more terrifying. But then...something happened this fall. I'm not sure if I was overly distraught over the Yankees poor post-season performance or what - but in some state I purchased a pumpkin pie, heated it up in the oven and actually ate it. And enjoyed it. Yeah, I know.


Tonight I decided to take it to the limit - my pumpkin fear, that is - and actually engage the pumpkin in some feat of cookery. I made pumpkin soup. And I liked it [I feel like that lame Katy Perry song]. Pumpkins are not in season, but fortunately tinned pure pumpkin [not pumpkin pie filling] is widely available. I actually overspiced it - perhaps in a misguided attempt to hide the pumpkin-ness of my creation, but it was still very good. Silky in texture, but curry-licious and ginger-y in taste [I could put ginger in anything and love it though]. While this was not a soup that I was originally planning to make [I still have a few to cross off my list], I am very glad that I did. Contrary to everyone's belief I don't enjoy being fussy with food [though I am] and I especially don't like being food phobic [people who write off entire foods tend to annoy, even when I'm one of them - especially when I'm one of them]. However, now I can get on with my life and start enjoying all of those pumpkin risottos and pumpkin raviolis that society has to offer. Maybe even...butternut squash...dun dun dun...

Day Two Hundred and Seventy - Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici

I think I have mentioned previously my affection for the number five. I have strong feelings about letters as well and I have always loved the letter V. I did not connect the two until I was speaking with Joseph the other day about crazy old Alan Moore - the graphic novel guy. He suggested that since I like five and V I should read V For Vendetta since it has a lot of imagery and language around these two things. Aha! It's all coming together now. So today while out and about I picked up a copy and tonight I read V for Vendetta. Well, I started reading it and got about 2/3 of the way through. I tend to rush my reading - it's not something I'm proud of and in no way should suggest that a book was so great that I simply couldn't put it down. I simply can't put anything down.


In truth, I kinda wish that I would have bought his Batman graphic novel instead. Mostly because I quite like Batman and The Joker and The Killing Joke is supposed to be a great story. However, I was quite taken last week by an interview with Alan Moore wherein he sounded really angry and scary and I dunno...I just had to read something of his with more weight so that I could see more of his character. While I am not finished the book yet, I am largely unimpressed. It seems to be very Orwellian in theme, although this is not entirely represented in the characters. Despite not entirely enjoying the book, I am very interested in it [which I think sometimes counts for more than enjoyment and is a big reason why I adore David Lynch] and I want to see how it all turns out. I still don't get the ego on Moore though. Maybe the fact that it was his personality that is causing me to read this...maybe that's enough of a reason for egomania.

Still, V for Vendetta is clever, clever, clever for all of the V and five references. It tickles my brain/OCD in just the right spot. For that alone it is well worth a read and re-read.

Day Two Hundred and Sixty-Nine - Nature's Lullaby

So I've been waiting for a long time to do this ET. I have had the necessary elements purchased and waiting for the appropriate moment and tonight it finally happened. Of course, I saw The Dark Knight and to mark the occasion with something really extra fantastic I wore my pajamas to the movie theatre. Yup. I had purchased these pajamas about 3 months ago in anticipation of wearing them out on the town and I kept unworn until now. The top is pretty dull and looks like any sort of regular top that I would wear, but the bottoms are unmistakably PJs.



I wore bra and underpants so I guess this wasn't entirely authentic...but honestly I would have felt quite obscene without them [also, cold]. I considered wearing slippers, but a previous ET has taught me that despite the indoor sturdiness of slippers, outdoor wear should really not be considered [that's what finally killed my previous slippers]. Also, my pink Hello Kitty slippers clash. So yeah - off we went...Joseph said he wasn't embarassed to be seen with me, but I think that he was lying [my hair was also spectacularly done up and makeup too - though it's not pictured]. And honestly - no one seemed to notice or stare @ all [which is odd as I always think people are staring @ me when I'm dressed normally]. Two subway trains and a lengthy stay in Starbucks [we had to wait almost 2 hours for the film] and a tour around Queen West and no one was bothered. A little disappointing. I even strutted around in the lobby of the cinema, but there was nothing doing. And yet, one will be hard pressed ["one" being Joseph] to get to me wear normal clothes to the cinema ever again. This was infinitely more comfortable - I could eat/drink to my heart's content and not feel congested by clothes - and I could twist myself into all sorts of unnatural seating arrangements [it's what I do to feel comfortable, though they often look anything but] without worrying about flashing the audience. However, it was incredibly cold. Cinemas often are - but this was really, really cold. So, minus points for that. But still - now whenever I wear these PJs I can think of the awesomeness of TDK and all is right with the world...

Day Two Hundred and Sixty-Eight - Family Ties

When I was growing up I spent a lot of time @ my grandparent's house - it was just three doors up from my elementary school. I got along very well with both of my grandparents, although it's fair to say that they were both a bit tempermental - I think it's clear where I got this from. My grandma would often complain that she was "blue" - well, not complain but if my dad asked her what was wrong she would say that she was just having a blue day. Now that I'm older and I have more than my fair share of blue days, I really get it. My family should get discounts on antidepressants [except that we're all too stubborn to take them]. But yeah. Not doing so great this week - stomach issues, insomnia and just general blueness.

Well, this afternoon I was cleaning under the bed [I find cleaning very therapeutic when I'm depressed - if my house is a sty, it's probably because I'm happy] and I found packets of photographs. I'm not really great @ putting photos in albums, but I am great @ buying photo albums. Anyway, most of these photos were ones that were taken by other family members and sent to me which I guess is part of the reason why they haven't found a home yet. I thought that looking @ the photos might cheer me up a bit - not sure that they did, but I started a photo album strictly for family photos. This was kinda sad as so many members of my family have died and even my cat and dog are no longer with us. So, mission not exactly accomplished. And while I'm still not really into scrapbooking [okay - I don't even really know what scrapbooking is] - I like the idea of grouping photos together in some meaningful fashion, other than simple chronology.


This is my favourite page thus far as it features my Guthrie looking super fierce, my devil-red graduation gown and a very nice photo of my parents on their 25th wedding anniversary.

Day Two Hundred and Sixty-Seven - 5-7-5

I have been planning on doing this one for quite a while - it was on my original "things to do" list...as were like a million other things that I haven't done yet and there are less than one hundred days left! Today I wrote celebrity haikus. I'm sure that everyone is familiar with haikus - they are the easiest form of poetry to write [except for maybe acrostic poems]. I like things that are easy and I also like celebrities. I tend to compose these haikus in my head while on ONTD, but I've never actually written them down. I also found out about this poetry game involving haiku and in the form of a party game - I might try that out too if I can find anyone who is also interested [seems unlikely - I don't know many poetry fans - I am not a poetry fan, although I do think that there is a certain haunting quality to some haiku].

Until now! And now here are my three favourites for your reading enjoyment, dear readers. I think that the subject matter is pretty evident. To be clear, they are three separate poems and should be enjoyed as such. Please feel free to send me your own! I was trying to think of one for Obama and one for McCain but my mighty brain did indeed fail me.

her look is toxic
lose the weave and get a bob
also, buy a bra

he is the batman
no worries - he can make bale
why so serious?

late night funnyman
the new yorker should just stop
colbert means satire

Day Two Hundred and Sixty-Six - Laughing All The Way To The...

I used to kinda like going to the bank. The queueing. The velvet rope. The friendly people being forced into mispronouncing my last name. The chance to speak with someone outside of the house. Good times. But now my free time is more limited and I have no bank attached to my office. Also, now Shirtless Baby Man - my former upstairs neighbour - works @ my bank and that is a huge problem. This is a person who was not clever enough to separate rotting garbage from recycling so we ended up with a porch full o'maggots. Nothing quite like it in the summer heat. To say nothing of the smell. So, this is not someone I want handling all my financial wheelings and dealings, obviously. But - the Visa bill is here [that + phone are my only two bills] and it needs paying. What to do?

Well, since it offers the solution to 99% of life's problems and queries, I turned to the internets - that famed series of tubes. Thankfully, they were not clogged so I did internet banking! It really does warrant that exclamation mark, for all your naysayers. I have no idea why I have resisted this for so long. I do everything on the internet - my whole life is in these tubes. Even my mum does telephone banking. My main reason for holding off was probably my fear that setting up everything would involve too many passwords and other pesky things - but it really didn't. A friendly bank employee did it for me by phone - and then he lectured me on why I should do something with my money instead of just watching it get like negative interest in my various accounts. Thanks banking guy! I was then able to pay my bills and check out all of my past banking transactions. I will never have to leave the house again...except for trips to the grocery store.